I forgot my own advice to myself in my last post: Expect the unexpected.
Last weekend, I participated in the Leave for Change predeparture training at Uniterra's office here in Ottawa. We were told it would be a full weekend -- all day Saturday and Sunday -- and yeah, look at this jam-packed schedule!:
I have to confess that my expectation going in was that the training session would comprise a dry rehashing of the Policies and Procedures manual, which Uniterra had sent to us in advance and asked us to read.
Oh hell no.
The 18-ish hours I spent in that small room with 2 trainers, 5 Leave for Change participants (4 other women, plus me) and 1 new staff person (there to get her feet wet) were some of the most inspiring, thought-provoking and informative that I've had in a very long while.
(The pic above might give you an idea of where everyone's going and how much ground our ["been everywhere!"] trainers had to cover!)
I actually feel like I've come out of it changed in some way, already. I don't know why I was expecting different, really: hasn't this process been that way from the beginning? Right from the application and interview, when I was asked to think deeply about why I wanted this experience, to volunteer overseas; what it meant to me; why at this time in my life; what are my core values; what can I contribute? In many ways, this weekend was a continuation of that kind of deep exploration.
Sure, we did go over the policies and procedures -- in quiz format! (our team won! Can't help pointing that out even though I scored 0 when it comes to competitive conflict management style! ... more on that later) -- but there was so much more. I learned about the program, about issues of gender equity and youth involvement around the world and here in Canada, and I learned about myself.
I can't plonk down everything in this one blog post, partly because there's so much to process (I filled almost an entire notebook with notes, and I still have a workbook to complete and a USB key full of documents to go through!) and partly because I'm still processing it all, so for now, here are a few takeaways. These are things I'm going to try to keep front and centre, for me, while I'm in Accra.
Conflict management style: Our "homework" on Saturday night was to complete a worksheet about how we manage conflict: our typical response in situations where we want something different from what another person wants. It's based on the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument: here's a nice overview. By about question 5 of 40, it was pretty clear how conflict avoidant I am! Actually, by the end of it, I learned I'm about equal parts avoidant and accommodating, with a nice chunk in compromising. A little bit in collaborating. ZERO POINTS in competing. Ugh. I went in on Sunday embarrassed, fully expecting to be chastised for being such a doormat, but what I loved was that our trainer for this session was quick to point out that no conflict management styles are wrong. They each have their place. They each have pros and cons: for instance, an avoidant style can be good in situations where you need time to think (it's not ideal long term, though, because you'll boil over eventually. But don't I have first-hand experience of this? Um, yeah). They each have effects: sometimes a particular conflict management style will benefit a task you're trying to complete or relationship you're trying to build, but sometimes it will harm it. Try them all, she said. Just be aware of what you're using, and why. (PS: This is all fantastic fodder for writing fiction!)
Intercultural Communication: We talked about different communication styles in cultures and some of the tools necessary to be able to communicate effectively with someone from a different background -- important for all of us as we tackle our mandates in different countries. We came up with a chart of the knowledge, skills and attitudes a good communicator should have. In this picture, the hearts mark the aspect each participant thought was most important, and the "x" marks the thing we felt we most needed to learn. I had the green pen. I marked off "persistence" because I have a tendency to get discouraged and back off when I feel I'm not getting through to someone, and I think it's important to be more flexible and try a different approach instead.
Security and Ethics: This was a bit of a nerve-racking exercise in which we reviewed case studies -- incidents that have actually happened to past volunteers -- and in pairs, discussed how we would react. I know I have a tendency to rush headlong into things -- I once discovered someone breaking into my car outside my house and decided to run out of the gate and confront them, but luckily someone else stopped me -- and the thing I probably have to learn here is ask for help (extends to many parts of my life, actually). Our in-country team will be there for us and probably more equipped to handle situations than we are.
And then there were the modules on culture shock and advice on how to adapt, and tips for supporting a country partner that is trying to increase gender equity, and what capacity building can look like, and and and... We were busy.
All this and I haven't even left the country yet. Whew.